I've set out on a journey to find Simplicity. Man, is she hard to catch. I've had to start saying "No" to all of these obligations just to catch a glimpse of her. The danger of chasing Simplicity is that when you say "No" to the same people regarding the same things, they stop asking eventually. This hurts a little. Sometimes, it's nice to feel needed. (Hello and goodbye, Pride.) However, tonight, I'm home. It's 8:20pm and I've had a chance to eat dinner with my family, take a walk at dusk, do some creative thinking for work, and blog! What is this madness? It's called Time. I'm finding that Simplicity, in all her glory, comes with Time. Time allows for space to think, feel, and just BE. It allows for stillness and quiet, and it allows the heart to settle into its rightful place - before the throne of God.
As hard as this is, I can confidently say that I feel God's presence a little more. I feel His hand and hear His voice guiding me forward. It's getting easier to ask, "What is mine to do today, Lord?" instead of "How in the world will I get all of this done?" I like it here - in this space, hearing His voice. It's peaceful and calm. I'm not working like a maniac even though the pace of my work is fast. It feels like I should panic, but I won't. Old habits die hard, I guess.
Thank You, God, for all of this and for how You love me and my little family. Thank You for your gifts of Time and Simplicity. Thank You for creating space in my life for bigger things and for pointing me toward my purpose both in my work and in my home. Thank You for being the God of order and peace. Help me to follow You to these green pastures. Keep me from straying and call me back when I succumb to fears of failure and defeat. Help me to walk in the way that You have paved for me through Your Son, Jesus Christ.
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee,
How great Thou art;
How great Thou art!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
The Big 3-0
So I turned 30 today. Yeah, weird. I was a little nervous heading into it, like Harry Potter running toward the 9 ¾ train platform for the first time. Today was just another day though of realizing that I don’t control anything. I had to wake up super early in order to get myself ready in addition to my toddler before going to church to conduct the choir, where I had to coordinate my hired babysitter to meet up with us somewhere on campus while warming up the choir, doing a sound check, and watching my little boy out of the corner of my eye. He was great this morning! I’m sure it helped that I had stopped by Starbucks (for my free birthday drink) and got him a cookie to bribe him to sit still “so Mommy can conduct.” Who gives a two-year-old boy a cookie at 7:45 in the morning? This girl. Hey, it was oatmeal…that’s whole grains with a few raisins, right? Totally healthy.
I conducted the choir for church, sent my little one to Sunday school, then had my babysitter take him to the park while I did the music for the second service. Once I met up with them back at my house, I got his lunch ready and started the nap time routine, at which point he let me know that he did not want to sleep in his crib. He wanted to sleep on Mommy instead. So I rocked him for nearly the entirety of his nap time. Why? Because time is short. And because I’m having epiphany after epiphany about the fleeting nature of life stages. As I was rocking my sweaty little sleeper, I realized that one day, he will not want me to hold him any more. One day, he won’t want his Mommy to rock him, and when that day comes, I will wish I had held him more in moments like these.
Here’s the thing: I’m finding that life is a little overwhelming sometimes between the whole mom, wife, working woman, musician, teacher thing. Sometimes, I think I can’t handle it and I begin to doubt that anybody can. But then I hear God whisper, “This is your life that I’ve given you. I will be Enough for you because my Grace is sufficient for all that I’ve called you to do.” Today’s sermon was on prayer and the lifeline to God that it provides. We’re called to be grateful for the things in our life and we’re called to talk to God about the things that we might need help being grateful for. Prayer is an ongoing conversation that we have with God as we experience all of the things that He has called us to do and to be. Today’s sermon was not a coincidence – it was a whisper.
Then I read this: http://www.conversiondiary.com/2014/03/the-secret-to-not-being-overwhelmed.html
It’s a beautiful article that I can hear my own voice and thoughts in. It’s about not being overwhelmed and instead, committing the things that go undone to God. It’s about talking to God in order to know what is ours to do for the day. It’s about having a deeper connection with God and letting that conversation with Him drive us to action in a peaceful way rather than a frantic way. Another whisper.
I’ve realized that today was just a sign of things to come. God wants me to talk to Him more, maybe do less, but He wants me to BE more. To sit and be still, knowing that I don’t control anything and being grateful that He does.
While I still feel like I may need to get my life a little more together (maybe have a neater home, a better wardrobe, furniture that isn’t from Target or Ikea – not that there’s anything wrong with that at all), I think I’m ready to embrace it all now. I’m not sure my life, at this point, is going to change a whole lot. I’m just going to keep trying to learn a little more, grow a little wiser, and be grateful for it all. A friend of mine said that turning 30 isn’t really about the number; it’s about how content you are when you get to that number. If you’re grateful and content with your life, the number doesn’t really matter.
So, much like Harry Potter, I’m growing more and more eager to find out what’s on the other side of the platform wall, even if it means running full speed into it to find out. I know this: I’m grateful, content, and I have an intense desire to know God more and more as I carry out the things that He’s called me to do with my life.
On a side note, here are some things that I’d like to do in my 30’s.
• Read more
• Have regular exercise times
• Have regular God and me dates
• Have regular husband and me dates
• Buy a house (It’s a bit of a daunting and large task, but it is what it is!)
• Place at Golden State…more than once and higher than 5th place
• Take a hot air balloon ride
• Find a hobby…one that I’m good at
• Eat healthier
• Take vitamins (And now I’m sounding really old…because old people take vitamins. Old people and children.)
• Teach my kid good habits – which should really go without saying, but I have everybody else up here and I would feel like a horrible mom if I didn’t put at least one thing up about my little boy. #forshame
I conducted the choir for church, sent my little one to Sunday school, then had my babysitter take him to the park while I did the music for the second service. Once I met up with them back at my house, I got his lunch ready and started the nap time routine, at which point he let me know that he did not want to sleep in his crib. He wanted to sleep on Mommy instead. So I rocked him for nearly the entirety of his nap time. Why? Because time is short. And because I’m having epiphany after epiphany about the fleeting nature of life stages. As I was rocking my sweaty little sleeper, I realized that one day, he will not want me to hold him any more. One day, he won’t want his Mommy to rock him, and when that day comes, I will wish I had held him more in moments like these.
Here’s the thing: I’m finding that life is a little overwhelming sometimes between the whole mom, wife, working woman, musician, teacher thing. Sometimes, I think I can’t handle it and I begin to doubt that anybody can. But then I hear God whisper, “This is your life that I’ve given you. I will be Enough for you because my Grace is sufficient for all that I’ve called you to do.” Today’s sermon was on prayer and the lifeline to God that it provides. We’re called to be grateful for the things in our life and we’re called to talk to God about the things that we might need help being grateful for. Prayer is an ongoing conversation that we have with God as we experience all of the things that He has called us to do and to be. Today’s sermon was not a coincidence – it was a whisper.
Then I read this: http://www.conversiondiary.com/2014/03/the-secret-to-not-being-overwhelmed.html
It’s a beautiful article that I can hear my own voice and thoughts in. It’s about not being overwhelmed and instead, committing the things that go undone to God. It’s about talking to God in order to know what is ours to do for the day. It’s about having a deeper connection with God and letting that conversation with Him drive us to action in a peaceful way rather than a frantic way. Another whisper.
I’ve realized that today was just a sign of things to come. God wants me to talk to Him more, maybe do less, but He wants me to BE more. To sit and be still, knowing that I don’t control anything and being grateful that He does.
While I still feel like I may need to get my life a little more together (maybe have a neater home, a better wardrobe, furniture that isn’t from Target or Ikea – not that there’s anything wrong with that at all), I think I’m ready to embrace it all now. I’m not sure my life, at this point, is going to change a whole lot. I’m just going to keep trying to learn a little more, grow a little wiser, and be grateful for it all. A friend of mine said that turning 30 isn’t really about the number; it’s about how content you are when you get to that number. If you’re grateful and content with your life, the number doesn’t really matter.
So, much like Harry Potter, I’m growing more and more eager to find out what’s on the other side of the platform wall, even if it means running full speed into it to find out. I know this: I’m grateful, content, and I have an intense desire to know God more and more as I carry out the things that He’s called me to do with my life.
On a side note, here are some things that I’d like to do in my 30’s.
• Read more
• Have regular exercise times
• Have regular God and me dates
• Have regular husband and me dates
• Buy a house (It’s a bit of a daunting and large task, but it is what it is!)
• Place at Golden State…more than once and higher than 5th place
• Take a hot air balloon ride
• Find a hobby…one that I’m good at
• Eat healthier
• Take vitamins (And now I’m sounding really old…because old people take vitamins. Old people and children.)
• Teach my kid good habits – which should really go without saying, but I have everybody else up here and I would feel like a horrible mom if I didn’t put at least one thing up about my little boy. #forshame
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Simplify: Part 2
Step Three: Making Time for God
I’ve decided to start changing my own sleep schedule to carve out some time with God, some undistracted, peaceful, silent, much-needed time with God. This means that I am consciously moving my bedtime 10 minutes earlier and waking up 10 minutes earlier. This is more difficult than you would think, especially with a toddler’s unpredictable waking time. This past week, I’ve had about three really good opportunities to connect with God in the morning before I start my day. It’s tricky timing. Sometimes my little guy wakes up extra early (6am), and sometimes he “sleeps in” until about 7. So making a set meeting time for God doesn’t go according to the clock, necessarily…unless I wake up at 5:30am, which is just not going to happen. (More power to you, friends who actually do this!) I’ve started risking it with a 6:20 wake up for myself. Practically speaking, if I really want to make this work for myself, I need to BE in bed by 10pm. Do you know how hard that is when your husband is a night-owl? Catching up on our day together might need to happen earlier. This might be one of those whole-family adjustments.
The bigger question is: Do I notice a difference in my day when I begin with communing with God? Absolutely. The days that I don’t get this morning meeting time with God, things seem hectic and I often feel like the day is going by too fast, working in a frazzled state. When I meet with God first thing in the morning, it helps to set the tempo for the day. It helps me see and prioritize with Kingdom eyes so that the things that truly matter stand out a little more and the things that don’t matter much tend to fade away. Does this cultivate the themes of Advent: Love, Joy, Peace, Hope? You bet. Seeing the day through Kingdom eyes does that.
I’m really excited to continue doing this Simplifying thing. I hope I can…waking up earlier IS HARD! When I’m in my nice cozy bed all snuggled up and warm, it’s so tempting to just hit the snooze button and fall back to sleep for a few more minutes. This is going to take some serious discipline if I’m going to stick with it.
I’ve decided to start changing my own sleep schedule to carve out some time with God, some undistracted, peaceful, silent, much-needed time with God. This means that I am consciously moving my bedtime 10 minutes earlier and waking up 10 minutes earlier. This is more difficult than you would think, especially with a toddler’s unpredictable waking time. This past week, I’ve had about three really good opportunities to connect with God in the morning before I start my day. It’s tricky timing. Sometimes my little guy wakes up extra early (6am), and sometimes he “sleeps in” until about 7. So making a set meeting time for God doesn’t go according to the clock, necessarily…unless I wake up at 5:30am, which is just not going to happen. (More power to you, friends who actually do this!) I’ve started risking it with a 6:20 wake up for myself. Practically speaking, if I really want to make this work for myself, I need to BE in bed by 10pm. Do you know how hard that is when your husband is a night-owl? Catching up on our day together might need to happen earlier. This might be one of those whole-family adjustments.
The bigger question is: Do I notice a difference in my day when I begin with communing with God? Absolutely. The days that I don’t get this morning meeting time with God, things seem hectic and I often feel like the day is going by too fast, working in a frazzled state. When I meet with God first thing in the morning, it helps to set the tempo for the day. It helps me see and prioritize with Kingdom eyes so that the things that truly matter stand out a little more and the things that don’t matter much tend to fade away. Does this cultivate the themes of Advent: Love, Joy, Peace, Hope? You bet. Seeing the day through Kingdom eyes does that.
I’m really excited to continue doing this Simplifying thing. I hope I can…waking up earlier IS HARD! When I’m in my nice cozy bed all snuggled up and warm, it’s so tempting to just hit the snooze button and fall back to sleep for a few more minutes. This is going to take some serious discipline if I’m going to stick with it.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Simplify
Our family’s theme for 2014 is Simplify.
A Rude Awakening
We’ve realized that our lives have grown too busy. Husband and I used to be able to keep up, being free-lance musicians in addition to our day jobs as technical manager and music teacher. Our pre-child lives moved too fast as it was, and when we added our son to the mix, things got a little crazy. We started to resent the things that we once enjoyed in addition to resenting one another. We became like ships passing in the night, and the only time we were home was to be on toddler duty. It’s been rare that we are all home together for more than an hour.
We also found that this past Christmas didn’t feel like Christmas at all. Amidst the various concerts and performances, outside gigs and contracted tech requests, we didn’t have time to enjoy the season by being together. We missed the themes of advent – Peace, Hope, Joy, and Love. In a season that’s about giving, we gave all our time and energy away to outside events and engagements that we didn’t have anything to give to each other. Everything was backwards. We neglected to receive God’s gifts of time with each other and those closest to us.
Needless to say, simplifying our lives is a way of slowing down, enjoying the moments that pass far too quickly anyway without adding the chaos that we’ve been living with this past year. Yes, we’ll have to say “No” to things – (shocking for us!) even things that would contribute financially. But my guess is that we’ll find the intrinsic values and gains will be more than worthwhile.
Smelling the Roses
Since we missed the themes of Advent during the Christmas season this past year, we’ve decided to live the themes of Advent with every decision we will make for this year. Husband and I (mostly I – Husband usually goes along with my resolutions and plans and is often the one who holds me to these things when I’ve either forgotten or grown tired of them) have decided that before we commit to an outside event or job, we need to ask ourselves, “Will agreeing to this cultivate Peace, Hope, Joy, and Love?” If so, then we’ll commit. If not, then we’ll pass. The truth is, our time is precious and time with our little one won’t last forever. Time with our little family won’t last forever. There will always be another job or event or something that will demand our time. We need to learn that our time with one another is something that cannot be bought. I know it’s easier said than done. But we’re working hard to prioritize what really matters. As one church friend said, “Your yes means nothing until you say no.” We’re stopping to smell the roses this year and we’re learning the importance of slowing down to do so.
Step one: Purge our home
We decided to start in our home first. Since the home is our family’s center, we figured we should start there. Husband and I have been hauling around a ton of stuff since we’ve been married. Now that Little Dude has come along, we really can’t afford to keep all of that stuff in our two-bedroom townhome. I love our townhouse; it’s perfect for the size of our family right now. The problem was all of the stuff IN the place that was shrinking the feel of the home. Solution: Get rid of all the excess. Simplify. We started with the “Harry Potter” closet under our stairs and worked our way through the kitchen, garage, and then into Little Dude’s room. We haven’t started in our room yet, which, oddly, is now the most cluttered and least relaxing room in the house! But it’s a start. We asked ourselves if we really needed it and why. If we hadn’t used it in the past year or more, then we probably weren’t going to need it at all. Of course, there were some things that we couldn’t bear to part with, but the biggest thing is that we’ve started. We donated everything we didn’t regularly use to Goodwill with the hope that others would be blessed by those things just as we were for a time. And we trashed the things that were broken, which we intended to fix but never did. They all had that old, used dilapidated look to them anyway.
Step two: Create New Space
After getting rid of a bunch of stuff, we’ve moved on to repurposing our rooms to make them more functional and practical for our family. Our “Harry Potter” closet has now become Little Dude’s “Playroom”…ok, it’s not really a room, but to a two-year-old, it’s a wonderland. His toys fit perfectly in there and he can bring them out whenever he pleases! (Yes, we keep the door open. No, we don’t keep him in there. Yes, I’d like to think we’re good parents. Please don’t call Child Protective Services on us.)
We’ve also found that we have a little more space to create a work area for me. I’ve been “homeless” when it comes to workspace. Initially, I assumed that I would share Husband’s desk. As it turns out, while Husband is great at sharing just about everything else under the sun, his desk is not included in that category. Being homeless for a workspace meant that every space became something of a workspace – the family mail center, the kitchen counter, the dining table, my dresser, the floor.
While creating new space within our home is a great thing, creating space within our family’s schedule is even more important. Husband and I do Family Calendar at the beginning of every month then we review the upcoming week’s activities every weekend. We plan on being more intentional about carving out unplugged time to play board games together once a week. I’ll let you know how we do! ☺
Baby Steps
As we discover more, I’ll write more. For now, we’re going to take it a day at a time. Together. Making time and space for one another to smell the roses, to hear the gentle Whisper of God’s voice every day with everything that we do. By making space and time for God to move and speak to us this year, I truly believe that we’re going to teach our child how to listen and make space for God and how to prioritize His Kingdom things over our busy schedules and earthly comforts. Hopefully, we’ll make it a habit for our family and he will make it a habit for himself later on.
More later!
-D
A Rude Awakening
We’ve realized that our lives have grown too busy. Husband and I used to be able to keep up, being free-lance musicians in addition to our day jobs as technical manager and music teacher. Our pre-child lives moved too fast as it was, and when we added our son to the mix, things got a little crazy. We started to resent the things that we once enjoyed in addition to resenting one another. We became like ships passing in the night, and the only time we were home was to be on toddler duty. It’s been rare that we are all home together for more than an hour.
We also found that this past Christmas didn’t feel like Christmas at all. Amidst the various concerts and performances, outside gigs and contracted tech requests, we didn’t have time to enjoy the season by being together. We missed the themes of advent – Peace, Hope, Joy, and Love. In a season that’s about giving, we gave all our time and energy away to outside events and engagements that we didn’t have anything to give to each other. Everything was backwards. We neglected to receive God’s gifts of time with each other and those closest to us.
Needless to say, simplifying our lives is a way of slowing down, enjoying the moments that pass far too quickly anyway without adding the chaos that we’ve been living with this past year. Yes, we’ll have to say “No” to things – (shocking for us!) even things that would contribute financially. But my guess is that we’ll find the intrinsic values and gains will be more than worthwhile.
Smelling the Roses
Since we missed the themes of Advent during the Christmas season this past year, we’ve decided to live the themes of Advent with every decision we will make for this year. Husband and I (mostly I – Husband usually goes along with my resolutions and plans and is often the one who holds me to these things when I’ve either forgotten or grown tired of them) have decided that before we commit to an outside event or job, we need to ask ourselves, “Will agreeing to this cultivate Peace, Hope, Joy, and Love?” If so, then we’ll commit. If not, then we’ll pass. The truth is, our time is precious and time with our little one won’t last forever. Time with our little family won’t last forever. There will always be another job or event or something that will demand our time. We need to learn that our time with one another is something that cannot be bought. I know it’s easier said than done. But we’re working hard to prioritize what really matters. As one church friend said, “Your yes means nothing until you say no.” We’re stopping to smell the roses this year and we’re learning the importance of slowing down to do so.
Step one: Purge our home
We decided to start in our home first. Since the home is our family’s center, we figured we should start there. Husband and I have been hauling around a ton of stuff since we’ve been married. Now that Little Dude has come along, we really can’t afford to keep all of that stuff in our two-bedroom townhome. I love our townhouse; it’s perfect for the size of our family right now. The problem was all of the stuff IN the place that was shrinking the feel of the home. Solution: Get rid of all the excess. Simplify. We started with the “Harry Potter” closet under our stairs and worked our way through the kitchen, garage, and then into Little Dude’s room. We haven’t started in our room yet, which, oddly, is now the most cluttered and least relaxing room in the house! But it’s a start. We asked ourselves if we really needed it and why. If we hadn’t used it in the past year or more, then we probably weren’t going to need it at all. Of course, there were some things that we couldn’t bear to part with, but the biggest thing is that we’ve started. We donated everything we didn’t regularly use to Goodwill with the hope that others would be blessed by those things just as we were for a time. And we trashed the things that were broken, which we intended to fix but never did. They all had that old, used dilapidated look to them anyway.
Step two: Create New Space
After getting rid of a bunch of stuff, we’ve moved on to repurposing our rooms to make them more functional and practical for our family. Our “Harry Potter” closet has now become Little Dude’s “Playroom”…ok, it’s not really a room, but to a two-year-old, it’s a wonderland. His toys fit perfectly in there and he can bring them out whenever he pleases! (Yes, we keep the door open. No, we don’t keep him in there. Yes, I’d like to think we’re good parents. Please don’t call Child Protective Services on us.)
We’ve also found that we have a little more space to create a work area for me. I’ve been “homeless” when it comes to workspace. Initially, I assumed that I would share Husband’s desk. As it turns out, while Husband is great at sharing just about everything else under the sun, his desk is not included in that category. Being homeless for a workspace meant that every space became something of a workspace – the family mail center, the kitchen counter, the dining table, my dresser, the floor.
While creating new space within our home is a great thing, creating space within our family’s schedule is even more important. Husband and I do Family Calendar at the beginning of every month then we review the upcoming week’s activities every weekend. We plan on being more intentional about carving out unplugged time to play board games together once a week. I’ll let you know how we do! ☺
Baby Steps
As we discover more, I’ll write more. For now, we’re going to take it a day at a time. Together. Making time and space for one another to smell the roses, to hear the gentle Whisper of God’s voice every day with everything that we do. By making space and time for God to move and speak to us this year, I truly believe that we’re going to teach our child how to listen and make space for God and how to prioritize His Kingdom things over our busy schedules and earthly comforts. Hopefully, we’ll make it a habit for our family and he will make it a habit for himself later on.
More later!
-D
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