This blog post is going to be really short because it's been a long day and I'm super tired. But this is so important that I absolutely needed to share.
I spent the day showing out of town friends around San Francisco today. We did all of the touristy things: Pier 39, watched the sea lions, ate clam chowder from a sourdough bread bowl, watched the America's Cup training from the harbor, and walked about a million miles. But my kairos moment today was when we got to come home and sit around a big table on the back deck and eat BBQ chicken and grilled veggies together. My family joined us and for a moment, I thought, "This has to be heaven." Sitting in God's creation on a beautiful summer evening with God's bounty of food before us, surrounded by my friends and family - my brothers and sisters in Christ - I glimpsed heaven.
I once heard a friend end a prayer by saying, "And Lord, help us to live out of gratitude." To live out of gratitude is a concept that often slips my mind, but since I heard those words almost 2 years ago, the way I see the world has changed. I'm reminded every once in a while about true gratitude and tonight, when I sat at that table, my heart couldn't have been fuller.
Praise God from Whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts,
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! Amen.
My cup overfloweth,
-D
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Training a child - Proverbs 22:6
I felt like a good mom today. But I also felt guilty for leaving my baby toddler this evening so I could go conduct a rehearsal at church. I'm not sure that feeling will ever go away.
Anyway, I felt like a good mom today because I stumbled across this gem in one of those rare moments of reading my Bible. (Yes, it should happen more often. It doesn't because I'm so freakin' tired all the time. It's not an excuse, it's an explanation.) Proverbs 22:6 - "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." That gem, in partnership with a dear friend's advice, inspired me to start looking at the habits and good character traits that I want my son to employ when he's older. And it made me start seeing him as truly a toddler rather than a baby that just doesn't know better.
Brag Book: My 18 month old son identified his colors today, pulling the correct colored crayons from a mixed bag. He actually had to search for the red one when I asked him to use red!! Genius. Brag book done.
It made me realize that he's learning so much and he's becoming so much more than...being a baby, if that makes sense. It's time to start training his character in addition to his habits. (By habits, I'm referring to eating and sleeping. SLEEPING!)
Pause there.
Yesterday evening, I attended a book signing for a teacher/author named Rafe Esquith. Rafe has been teaching at a low income inner city elementary school for 30 years. He's a good teacher. His one word of advice? Be the person you want your students to be.
Unpause.
Be the person you want your child to be.
So basically, I've put 2 and 2 together today. I need to continue to take care of myself and continue to grow in my own character in order to train up my son in a holy and pleasing-to-the-Lord kind of way.
I'm excited. I'm inspired. I'm deeply challenged.
I hope this speaks to you as much as it speaks to me. This applies to both my work life and my home life. This applies to what my friend Glennon Melton calls, "my capital L Life".
This isn't over. I just heard that this week's sermon at church is on "Being Present". I'm pretty sure this will apply to this post. I just haven't put it all together yet. I'll update once I give it some more thought.
Until then, goodnight! I'm starting tomorrow off on a new schedule, a disciplined one for myself - and for my family!
Love,
-D
Anyway, I felt like a good mom today because I stumbled across this gem in one of those rare moments of reading my Bible. (Yes, it should happen more often. It doesn't because I'm so freakin' tired all the time. It's not an excuse, it's an explanation.) Proverbs 22:6 - "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." That gem, in partnership with a dear friend's advice, inspired me to start looking at the habits and good character traits that I want my son to employ when he's older. And it made me start seeing him as truly a toddler rather than a baby that just doesn't know better.
Brag Book: My 18 month old son identified his colors today, pulling the correct colored crayons from a mixed bag. He actually had to search for the red one when I asked him to use red!! Genius. Brag book done.
It made me realize that he's learning so much and he's becoming so much more than...being a baby, if that makes sense. It's time to start training his character in addition to his habits. (By habits, I'm referring to eating and sleeping. SLEEPING!)
Pause there.
Yesterday evening, I attended a book signing for a teacher/author named Rafe Esquith. Rafe has been teaching at a low income inner city elementary school for 30 years. He's a good teacher. His one word of advice? Be the person you want your students to be.
Unpause.
Be the person you want your child to be.
So basically, I've put 2 and 2 together today. I need to continue to take care of myself and continue to grow in my own character in order to train up my son in a holy and pleasing-to-the-Lord kind of way.
I'm excited. I'm inspired. I'm deeply challenged.
I hope this speaks to you as much as it speaks to me. This applies to both my work life and my home life. This applies to what my friend Glennon Melton calls, "my capital L Life".
This isn't over. I just heard that this week's sermon at church is on "Being Present". I'm pretty sure this will apply to this post. I just haven't put it all together yet. I'll update once I give it some more thought.
Until then, goodnight! I'm starting tomorrow off on a new schedule, a disciplined one for myself - and for my family!
Love,
-D
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
On Listening and Love
Ahhh...finally. A time of silence. Just me and this blank canvas of space with which to write and process. No crocodile wrestling my toddler; no dishes (well, not entirely true - there are SOME dishes.); no laundry; nobody here to entertain; and no whining! Yes, my friends, it is that glorious time of the day called Nap Time.
I've been wanting to write for quite some time but every day of this vacation has been stuffed with activity. Don't get me wrong - I love activity. I love the people we've been able to see and spend time with. But I've needed and wanted some silence for a while. Here's what I've learned from the past few days in the wee moments of silent thinking time here and there that I've been able to snag. These things are not entirely related - at least, not that I can see yet.
1. Conversations around an area of conflict are confusing. If you haven't heard by now, everybody has been wrestling with the LGBT(Q) movement. Everybody includes the Christ-followers, the Atheists, the Activists, the Politicians, the Educators, the young and the old. See, no matter what side of the table you're sitting on, there's been a lot of talk and very little listening. Here's what I've heard God say to me recently: Be still. Be open to conversation. Start by listening. Be still. Seek My Truth. Hear the compassion in My Voice. Be still.
This makes me really want to really find out what God has to say about these issues and makes me want to be still and listen. I've gone from standing against all aspects of the LGBT(Q) community (so far as to hurt some of my own friends) to standing for them (as silently as possible however) to not wanting to draw a line in the sand at all. The problem about WANTING to find out what God has to say and WANTING straight answers is that it manifests itself into idle action. You know what I mean when I say, "idle action"? It's like reading and thinking and reading and thinking and coming to so many different conclusions that you really have no conclusion at all in the end. All along, I've forgotten to BE STILL. I've forgotten how.
So here's the conclusion I've come to right now. At this moment, I want to read what God has to say about all things LGBT. And then I'm going to "Be Still". I'm going to be open to conversation. But I'm going to start by listening. Because the way I've figured, conversing is a good start. But the act of listening is an act of love. Jesus reminds us in so many ways to "Love our neighbor." People feel loved and valued when others listen. I want to be a listener.
2. Listening is Hard. Period.
3. There are some relationships that require a desperate amount of patience. It sounds cryptic, but really, it's simple; it's true; and sometimes it sucks.
4. Toddlers are difficult. At the end of the day though, I always find myself looking at pictures of my little love and recalling all of his cute moments of the day. During the day, I just want to get to my victory lap. It sounds awful, but I know I'm not alone in this. I can't be. Kids are too hard to deal with when they're awake sometimes! I love being my Little Monkey's mom. I do not like my legs being mistaken as a climbing post in the wake of a tantrum. And I do not like whining. But I do love when he looks at me like I'm the best person in the world for giving him a bottle of milk before bedtime. And I do love when he interrupts his play time to give me a kiss. I know these days are numbered. This is both relieving and sad.
5. I love good friends. They are the best. 'Nuff Said.
Until my next moment of stillness, here's to listening!
-D
I've been wanting to write for quite some time but every day of this vacation has been stuffed with activity. Don't get me wrong - I love activity. I love the people we've been able to see and spend time with. But I've needed and wanted some silence for a while. Here's what I've learned from the past few days in the wee moments of silent thinking time here and there that I've been able to snag. These things are not entirely related - at least, not that I can see yet.
1. Conversations around an area of conflict are confusing. If you haven't heard by now, everybody has been wrestling with the LGBT(Q) movement. Everybody includes the Christ-followers, the Atheists, the Activists, the Politicians, the Educators, the young and the old. See, no matter what side of the table you're sitting on, there's been a lot of talk and very little listening. Here's what I've heard God say to me recently: Be still. Be open to conversation. Start by listening. Be still. Seek My Truth. Hear the compassion in My Voice. Be still.
This makes me really want to really find out what God has to say about these issues and makes me want to be still and listen. I've gone from standing against all aspects of the LGBT(Q) community (so far as to hurt some of my own friends) to standing for them (as silently as possible however) to not wanting to draw a line in the sand at all. The problem about WANTING to find out what God has to say and WANTING straight answers is that it manifests itself into idle action. You know what I mean when I say, "idle action"? It's like reading and thinking and reading and thinking and coming to so many different conclusions that you really have no conclusion at all in the end. All along, I've forgotten to BE STILL. I've forgotten how.
So here's the conclusion I've come to right now. At this moment, I want to read what God has to say about all things LGBT. And then I'm going to "Be Still". I'm going to be open to conversation. But I'm going to start by listening. Because the way I've figured, conversing is a good start. But the act of listening is an act of love. Jesus reminds us in so many ways to "Love our neighbor." People feel loved and valued when others listen. I want to be a listener.
2. Listening is Hard. Period.
3. There are some relationships that require a desperate amount of patience. It sounds cryptic, but really, it's simple; it's true; and sometimes it sucks.
4. Toddlers are difficult. At the end of the day though, I always find myself looking at pictures of my little love and recalling all of his cute moments of the day. During the day, I just want to get to my victory lap. It sounds awful, but I know I'm not alone in this. I can't be. Kids are too hard to deal with when they're awake sometimes! I love being my Little Monkey's mom. I do not like my legs being mistaken as a climbing post in the wake of a tantrum. And I do not like whining. But I do love when he looks at me like I'm the best person in the world for giving him a bottle of milk before bedtime. And I do love when he interrupts his play time to give me a kiss. I know these days are numbered. This is both relieving and sad.
5. I love good friends. They are the best. 'Nuff Said.
Until my next moment of stillness, here's to listening!
-D
Monday, July 1, 2013
When Strivings Cease
The sermon yesterday was on "Creating Margin between your Load and your Limit." This is something that I don't do well. Ever really. I'm constantly on the go as I'm sure many people are. The good thing about that is that we get a lot done. The bad thing is that there will always be more to do and we'll never feel like we've accomplished it all.
This week, we were challenged to find 5 minutes to be silent and still enough to listen to God. I'm 0 for 1 today. It's hard enough finding any breathing space at all, and truthfully, when I do find space, I'm just so stinking tired. It's hard to listen when you're tired. Have you ever tried to listen when you're tired? Church services are a good example of this. If you're tired when you go to church, chances are you'll miss the sermon entirely in favor of viewing the backs of your own eyelids. If you're sitting with a friend, he/she may be kind enough to jab you in the ribs...with the kindness of Christ of course. But my point is, it's hard to listen to God when you're tired.
So where do we find rest? I'll let you know if I uncover the secret. My guess is that I have to start changing my lifestyle completely. If I start saying "No" to things and putting enough margin in my life for downtime, I might actually be still enough to hear God and rested enough to have energy to carry out His desires.
But that's just a hunch. Again, I'll let you know if I find out the secret to creating margin. I know this blog is titled, "Summer Stillness", but I'm finding it hard to be still. Seriously. Like right now - it's 10:15 at night and my child is still crying and standing up in his crib, waiting for somebody to come and fetch him. I thought 10:15 would be a good time to blog and find some quiet in my mind and heart...but it's not. What to do?!
I'll leave with one last question: If and when we were to cease our striving, what would that look like?
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
This week, we were challenged to find 5 minutes to be silent and still enough to listen to God. I'm 0 for 1 today. It's hard enough finding any breathing space at all, and truthfully, when I do find space, I'm just so stinking tired. It's hard to listen when you're tired. Have you ever tried to listen when you're tired? Church services are a good example of this. If you're tired when you go to church, chances are you'll miss the sermon entirely in favor of viewing the backs of your own eyelids. If you're sitting with a friend, he/she may be kind enough to jab you in the ribs...with the kindness of Christ of course. But my point is, it's hard to listen to God when you're tired.
So where do we find rest? I'll let you know if I uncover the secret. My guess is that I have to start changing my lifestyle completely. If I start saying "No" to things and putting enough margin in my life for downtime, I might actually be still enough to hear God and rested enough to have energy to carry out His desires.
But that's just a hunch. Again, I'll let you know if I find out the secret to creating margin. I know this blog is titled, "Summer Stillness", but I'm finding it hard to be still. Seriously. Like right now - it's 10:15 at night and my child is still crying and standing up in his crib, waiting for somebody to come and fetch him. I thought 10:15 would be a good time to blog and find some quiet in my mind and heart...but it's not. What to do?!
I'll leave with one last question: If and when we were to cease our striving, what would that look like?
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
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